In an unexpected but welcome turn of events, Jim Cramer has announced that he will give up on claims that he is able to predict the future to produce market-beating returns, and move all of his money into low-cost index funds. After years of preaching individual stock selection as the smartest approach for every investor with enough time to do the research, Cramer has said that he became curious about the consistent inflows into index funds.

Taking a brief pause from his Bloomberg terminal to pick up some peer-reviewed academic journals, he was quickly overwhelmed by the amount of evidence in favour of index investing.

Though he was previously viewed as the face of active management, Cramer’s migration to the index fund camp is not expected to shift the sentiment of other active managers; a louder, more aggressive, and less accurate market forecaster will likely fill the gap that he has left. According to, Cramer’s stock picks are only winners 46.8% of the time. 46.8% is slightly worse than would be expected from random chance, so his shoes should be rather easy to fill.

To continue utilizing his talents in the context of his new investment philosophy, Cramer has decided to partner with the Vanguard Group, an index fund company with notoriously quiet marketing efforts. It is hoped by both parties that by applying Cramer’s yelling, loud sounds, and flashing lights to the relatively boring evidence around low-cost index investing, Vanguard’s message will reach a new audience.

For the record, this was an April Fool’s joke. Jim Cramer is still yelling at the Camera for CNBC.